All About Being "Emotionally Agile"

June 30, 2013

Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders – Part 2

I promised a follow-up to my article last week. I was hoping for a little more input from you as fellow leaders before I provided this follow-up piece. But, this issue is once again very relevant to me and some folks that I know.

Many years ago (late 80s and early 90s) I experienced the phenomena of having to deal with “leaders” who were not the elected leaders of an organization. I call them “de facto” leaders. Although they were not elected or officially recognized, they were in fact significant leaders in their own right. And they actually wielded significant power.

The problem was that I didn’t know how to handle or really even recognize this kind of leadership. It was leadership based solely on the individual’s strong personality and influence on the rest of the organization. (Do you recall how John Maxwell defines “Leadership”?) And although he didn’t represent a majority, he represented enough and they were “verbal” enough such that they had to be reckoned with.

So, what did I do with a guy who was content to be the voice of the contrary instead of the voice of the constructive? Continue reading “Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders – Part 2”

June 27, 2013

Leadership and Values

There is a theory of leadership known as the “great man” theory. It states that great leaders are simply more “heroic” than others. And further, their innate qualities, skills or abilities enable them to shape their world. But this theory is too simplistic and it ignored the evidence that sometimes leaders are developed in the crucible of crisis. This second situation has its own set of statements supporting that theory of leadership.

But, for purposes of today’s thoughts, I want to focus on the “heroic” nature of leadership. I choose to use a word like “heroic” because it connotes a certain values based approach to leadership. Far too often folks discuss leadership in a “value vacuum”. In my view this is not only incorrect, it is ultimately very harmful to the organization that has leaders who act outside of values and ethics.

Values are an integral part of good leadership. To be a true leader, you must Continue reading “Leadership and Values”

June 22, 2013

Leadership and Conflict

I have been thinking a lot lately about conflict and conflict resolution. I think we can all agree that some level of conflict is unavoidable. However, how we face it and resolve that conflict says a great deal about our own leadership styles and abilities.

Consider the following statement by Warren Bennis, one of the foremost writers on leadership and organizational and management theory.

“Leaders do not avoid, repress, or deny conflict, but rather see it as an opportunity.”

Leaders, this is one of your primary responsibilities. You cannot delegate this. Nor can you pretend that conflicts do not occur within your organization. I have spent much of my adult life working in the corporate world during the week and serving in a non-profit and volunteer organization on weeknights and weekends. And conflict is common to all organizations. Yes, even within churches and religious organizations. But you, as leaders, have the responsibility to sense conflict at its earliest stages and resolve it before it affects the entire organization. Continue reading “Leadership and Conflict”

June 18, 2013

Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders

Here is challenge that you may have to face at some point in your leadership career. You will encounter two types of leaders. Elected leaders and Influential leaders.

Have you ever considered these two types? If not, consider them now.

Elected leaders are the ones that we may be familiar with the most. It is reasonably clear how they became leaders. Someone recognized leadership ability within them. The organization then went on and nominated or appointed them to a position of responsibility and leadership. That is fairly clear cut. Ability was recognized and a position was attained. This is generally a good model and it produces good results.

Now consider the second type – the Influential leader. This person generally does not have real leadership skills. Yet they have a position of leadership in spite of it. They generally attain the position through shear force of personality. That may be just a euphemism for being a bully. But that is not always the case. Sometimes it is because they possess a specialized skill. Sometimes they attain it through longevity within the organization. Sometime they attain the role of leader through fame, notoriety, family or financial position. These are the leaders that are difficult to work with or work for. Continue reading “Elected Leaders vs. Influential Leaders”

June 6, 2013

How is the view?

That great southern philosopher, Lewis Grizzard, once said; “If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

Let me give you a few minutes to visualize that picture. – – – Do you have a mental picture? What do you see?

Yup, you see the northern end of a southbound dog. Picturesque, isn’t it?

But here is the point that Grizzard unwittingly (or maybe not so unwittingly) makes. He is making a point that we need to strive to be leaders and to strive to lead the pack. We should not just be content to run with the pack. And that is a great point. But I think there is a greater point to be made here.

The greater point is about the actual role and behavior of the leader. Although the guy in the parka that stands on the back of the sled has all of the outward appearance of being a leader. He in fact is not. He is the encourager. He is the one who exhorts us on. He may even be the one with authority and the power of the whip if he chooses to use it. But, he is not the leader. I would submit to you that leadership is by example, not by command.

The leader is the number 1 dog out in front. That dog is the one that the other dogs follow. He sets the pace and the actual path the sled will take within the confines of the terrain and environment.

So, what is the leadership principle here? Continue reading “How is the view?”

May 27, 2013

Memorial Day Heroes

Not all of our heroes have died in battle.

Please don’t take that the wrong way. I truly mean no disrespect. But a thought came to me as we stopped by Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery late yesterday afternoon. The thought was that heroes come in many forms. Consider if you would, the man that came home from the war and made a life for himself. He married his sweetheart. He got a job. He went to work every day. He helped his wife raise some children. He served on the church board. And he lived a full life. That man may not be a military hero. But he was a hero nonetheless.

Such can be said for both my father and my father-in-law. Both of these men served in the military. Both served in times of war. My father served during the Korean War. It was a somewhat forgotten war. Dad dodged a few bullets while in Korea and he served with honor. My father -in-law served during the Vietnam War. And if Korea was a forgotten war, then Vietnam was certainly a forgettable war to many Americans.

However, neither of these men are my hero because of what they did in the service of their Country. Both of these men are my heroes because of what they did in the service of their family. The late 1950s saw them leave the military and rejoined civilian life. And the 1960s and 1970s were times of great social upheaval in our Country’s history. It was almost social warfare. So many of their contemporaries and colleagues may have been military heroes, but they were wounded by that social warfare and went AWOL as husbands and fathers.

So, on Memorial Day and on Manday, I encourage those of us who are fathers to be a hero. Do not be AWOL. I encourage you to show up for duty every day. Be a “Hero of the Home“.

And to those of you who have lost loved ones in the service of our Country and for the sake of freedom, we at LeadershipVoices say, “Thank You” for paying the ultimate sacrifice that we can lift our voice in freedom.

Have a great Memorial Day

Photo credit: davidyuweb / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

April 30, 2013

Some Things to Consider in a Leadership Change

There is an organization that I am a part of that is very near and dear to my heart. I have been an active part of that organization for my entire life. I have been involved in various leadership roles for 30 years. And we are about to embark on the path to a change in leadership. This change is completely voluntary. Our current leader is accepting the call to move on to a new challenge. So, don’t be concerned that there has been an uprising or mutiny. But a change in leadership is coming because of that nonetheless.

What are some things that an organization should consider in selecting a new leader? Consider with me the following as a partial list of key skills, abilities, traits or tendencies. It is not an exhaustive list by any stretch. But it may spur some thoughts and ideas as the organization moves forward with selecting and calling new leadership.

Leadership – This one almost goes without saying. When selecting a leader, make sure they have demonstrated leadership before.
Past Performance / Results – when searching for a new leader, do your research. Check out the leadership candidate. Has he/she demonstrated strong leadership in the past? Do they get results?
Part of Something Bigger – Each of us is a part of a much larger organization. And we should consider that we are building something that is larger than our local organization and it should fit well with the larger organization.
Learn From Mistakes – Everybody makes them. How does the leadership candidate show that they have learned from mistakes made in the past?
Fit Within the System or Personality of the Organization – Does the candidate mesh with the organizations overall system or personality? If not, you are destined for conflict.
Understand Their Strengths And Weaknesses – Both the leadership candidate and the organization need to understand their respective strengths and weaknesses and each other’s as well.
Hard Worker – Are they a hard worker who exhibits high effort? This is key if they are to lead an organization largely comprised of volunteers.
Are They a Finisher? – It is one thing to come up with great ideas. But can they execute the ideas and drive them to completion?
Are They a Team Player? – Yes, they can lead. But can they get along with the rest of the team and with the whole organization?
Problem Solver – It is one thing to identify problems. That is the easy part. Can they solve problems? Can they work together with the leadership team to find creative solutions?
People Skills – This one is a skill that cannot be learned. It is often an intuitive and innate one. But, even those without great people skills can develop a “warmer” persona and demonstrate real care and concern for those people who make up the organization.
Consistency – The need for long patterns of demonstrated leadership is great. Being able to do something for a short time is one thing. Being able to be a successful leader for a long period of time is quite another.
Stability – What is their personal and private life like? Is there drama at home? There will be drama (or at least diminished success) at the office.
Charisma – Are they charismatic and dynamic as a leader? No one wants a boring and lifeless leader.
Are They Being Mentored? – They may be an established leader. But are they actively being coached or mentored? If they feel they don’t need help, then they need it more than they can imagine. There should be a plan for continual improvement.
Ability To Prioritize – No one can get everything done that needs to get done. So, can they prioritize and focus on the things that have the potential for the greatest impact?
Mental Toughness/ Personal Tenderness – Are they mentally tough enough to take the slings and arrows of leadership? Yet, are they personally tender and compassionate with an ability to speak to the organization with love and tenderness?
Capacity – Do they have the capacity to grow as the organization grows?
Listening Skills – It is assumed they can verbalize and vocalize. But can they listen?

This is not a complete or perfect list. But, It should help organizations in the midst of leadership change or who are contemplating a change in leadership.

What traits or abilities would you add to the list?

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Photo credit: supersum (off) / Foter.com / CC BY-SA

April 26, 2013

Leadership is like riding a bicycle

I admit it. I fell victim to the “Downton Abbey” craze. I watched an episode one night out of curiosity. The next thing I knew, I had found Seasons 1 and 2 on Amazon Prime and we watched at least 2 episodes a night for the next 2 weeks until we had seen them all. Then we went to start watching Season 3 – only this time it wasn’t free on Amazon Prime. You know you are hooked when you hit the “Buy with 1-Click” button and you shell out the money for the entire 3rd season without even thinking about what it cost. But, I suppose all of that is a subject for another time.

I found the story compelling and the dialog incredible. The characters were fascinating and complex. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it.

But I was captivated by a sentence uttered by a relatively minor character in the last episode of season 3. His name is Shrimpie and he is a husband caught in a loveless marriage and he is the father of a young woman who is rebelling against her parents and society in general. I am paraphrasing a quote from that episode:

“What I want is for her [his daughter] to know that family can be a loving thing. Love is like riding a bicycle or speaking French. If you don’t learn it young, it’s hard to get the trick of it later.”

I am taking this in a direction that you would expect and I am going to modify the quote to suit my purpose. What if Continue reading “Leadership is like riding a bicycle”

April 15, 2013

Roles and Responsibilities – Money

I have been accused often of taking an approach that is too “business-like”. I like to take an analytical look at the world around me and my environment. That works well in the office environment. But folks tend not to like it very much when I am consulting with small churches about why they are still small and the others around them are growing. This same approach sometimes extends to my personal life.

One of the basic tenets of effectively executing a business objective is the correct identification and assignment of the roles and responsibilities of the members of the team. You may have a top performer in one area, but if they are assigned to an area that is not a strong suit, then things may not go as well as you would like. Of course they can use the assignment to “stretch” them and give them a valuable learning experience. But, you will usually not get optimal performance out of them in that situation.

So, this is “Manday”. What does this article have to do with that?

There are many roles and responsibilities that are often socially assumed to be the domain of us as men. One of the common ones is the handling of money. Many times we are the provider of the largest portion of the family income and it is easy to assume that we should then handle it and manage the disbursements to all of the family bills and obligations. That makes sense, right?

No always!

This is an area that we as men need to take a real hard look at and discuss with our wives whether or not it really should be our primary role and responsibility. In many marriages there are a myriad of things that one partner is good at and the other is not. And the handling of the family budget is usually one of them. But it is also one that carries with it the burden of a traditional or social norm that it is the man’s job to handle the money.

I challenge you as a man today to examine this vital role and responsibility within your family. Are you the best one for the job? If so, do it with diligence. If you are not, then delegate it decisively.

I want to make one final point. This is not a “free pass” to totally abdicate any responsibility for the hard work of managing the family budget. This is especially true when the outflow exceeds the income. No one likes paying the bills when there is not enough to go around. So, in those tough situations, work together to establish the priorities and establish a spending plan that both of you agree to completely. Then, the one with the role and responsibility of executing that plan can do so with the full knowledge and support of the other.

Happy “Tax Day” everyone!

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April 10, 2013

As a soldier sees it

I came across another great quote the other day. But, as I am getting old and didn’t write it down, I have to try to recall it from memory. The gist of it was the way that a soldier sees leadership. Leadership as a soldier sees it went something like this:

I do not follow orders, I obey them. Instead I follow a leader.

Let that sink in for a few minutes.

Now what does that mean?

Try as I might, I just cannot get some of the courtroom scenes from “A Few Good Men” out of my head. If you take some of the military bashing out of the film you are left with some riveting dialog. At some point along the way the characters Dawson and Downey lost sight of the impact of following an order from a leader who is not worthy. They followed an order and things went terribly wrong.

The premise of the movie is not a perfect analogy for me. But it does point out to me that we need to be clear regarding those that we chose to follow. And further, we need to be aware of the impact that we have on those who follow us.

And consider this as well. We don’t always get to choose our leaders.

Are you following, obeying or leading?

Photo credit: Atfyfe / Foter.com / Public Domain Mark 1.0

All About Being “Emotionally Agile”

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