All About Being "Emotionally Agile"

February 5, 2013

Accessible or Aloof

Reading Michael Hyatt’s blog early this morning I saw his recounting of a podcast by Andy Stanley, a well-known pastor in the Atlanta, GA metropolitan area. Andy Stanley is of the opinion that the greater or higher the level of leadership that a person reaches, the less accessible they must make themselves.

Andy Stanley is quoted as saying:

“The harsh reality of leadership is that the more successful we are, the less accessible we become. As things grow and as more people become involved, a leader can’t be equally accessible to all people. So then we are faced with the dilemma of who gets my time and who doesn’t, when do they get it, and how much of it do they get.”

l sort of equate that to the movie star who becomes famous by making movies. And then they go on countless TV interviews to become even more famous. And then they complain because they never have any privacy. Does that sound familiar?

l would submit to you that the things that made a great leader great are the same things that will keep them great. And one of those things is accessibility and approach-ability. Every person needs a certain amount of privacy and down time. And as followers we need to recognize and respect that. But I don’t see a significant reason for someone to become markedly less accessible in order to become more effective.

Absence, or aloofness, doesn’t make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart wander. And the opposite of accessible could be defined as aloof. And who thinks that is a leadership trait?

February 1, 2013

Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense

The story of Naaman has an interesting leadership lesson for us today. Naaman was the commander-in-chief of the ancient Syrian army. He was a man with both position and power. By all earthly standards, Naaman was a recognized leader: he had worldly abilities, fame, respect and authority.

However, Naaman had a really big problem. He had leprosy. In that day and time, leprosy was an awful incurable disease. It required total isolation from everyone for fear of spreading the dreaded disease. And it is really hard to be a leader when you have to be isolated from everyone that you are leading.

Can you just imagine for a few minutes Continue reading “Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense”

January 24, 2013

Financier, Friend or Father — Part Two

We recently looked at the role that we play as a financier for the family. And that role is important. But consider part two of this three part series.

Friend – “Hey, who is your buddy?”

One of the other traps we fall into is the trap of trying to be a buddy or pal to our child rather than being their father. And the reason we do is fairly obvious. It is much easier to be a friend than it is to be a father. And besides, who doesn’t want to be a pal or to have a pal? The problem is Continue reading “Financier, Friend or Father — Part Two”

January 15, 2013

Listening – A Secret to Leadership Growth

One of the top ways that a leader can grow is by listening.

Think of this as a follow up to my article that looked at whether leadership is a quiet or loud activity.

It is somewhat counter-intuitive. Leadership feels like it should be a speaking activity. But it advances well when it exercises a listening posture. That reality can be hard to accept. It feels like it ought to be the other way around. But then again, leading by “feelings” is rarely a good idea. A leadership position often makes us think that we should be doing most of the talking. Not true. Leadership positions make us think Continue reading “Listening – A Secret to Leadership Growth”

January 12, 2013

Financier, Friend or Father — Part One

As Dads, we have a lot of roles to play as part of our overall responsibility to the family. This is especially true when it comes to the relationship that we have with our children. In a brief three part series I plan to consider three particular roles that we play in our children’s lives.

Financier – “What am I made of? Money?”

I think one of the things that is the hardest for us to understand early in the life of our family is understanding what level of importance to place on the role of money within the family. And one of the traps that young fathers fall into is the trap of Continue reading “Financier, Friend or Father — Part One”

January 1, 2013

Are you a Visionary?

Looking to the start of 2013 I find myself reflecting on a passage that you hear occasionally at this time of year. Here is that often misquoted or misused scripture – “Where there is no vision, the people perish”. It is found in the Old Testament in Proverbs 29:18. It is used many times from the pulpit to exhort us to catch the vision that the pastor has seen and to press us onward to the destination seen in the vision.

But I submit to you that there is a BIG difference between being a visionary and being a leader.

A visionary is Continue reading “Are you a Visionary?”

December 17, 2012

Abraham Lincoln and Leadership

There is a lot of renewed interest in Abraham Lincoln these days. In fact, a movie about him has just been nominated for a Golden Globe Award. So, what is the deal with Lincoln? Was he really the greatest president of all time?

Donald T. Phillips wrote a book in 1993 entitled, Lincoln on Leadership. The subtitle was Executive Strategies for Tough Times. In that book he provides significant insight into leadership principles that Lincoln exhibited and cultivated in others. Phillips points out many unique qualities of Lincoln. He also focuses on what he calls The Lincoln Principles. He goes on to develop Lincoln’s Principles of Character, Principles of Endeavor, and Principles of Communication. I don’t have time to develop each of these. But, I recommend the book if you are interested in pursuing this line of thought on a political figure that has become a pop culture figure again of late.

One characteristic that caught my eye was the fact that Lincoln is the only U.S. president to hold a U.S. Patent. Lincoln received a patent for a method of making a certain kind of boat more buoyant. Not all that remarkable in and of itself. But it demonstrates that Lincoln was creative. He was not just a “community organizer”.

He was not only creative; he was also a great developer of leadership intelligence and information from those around him. Lincoln was keenly aware that people (his cabinet and his military leaders) were the major source of information and that in order for him to be a great leader he had to stay close to them. But being close to them was not enough. He needed the relationship to be real and intimate. He built those relationships by holding more informal meetings with these people than formal meetings.

What is the leadership principle here?

Stay close to your people. Maintain multiple informal touch points with your staff. Walk over to their office and sit down in their space. And talk to them about their world, their families, and their interests. Lincoln demonstrated this principle of the value of the human being throughout his life. Let me paraphrasing what Phillips says. He says that the foundation of Lincoln’s leadership style was an unshakeable commitment to the rights and personal worth of the individual.

May it be said of me that I hold the worth of my team and my fellow man in the highest regard.

December 11, 2012

When following is actually leading

There is a powerful image that each of us have of the Three Wise Men kneeling at the manger in Bethlehem. These men have been known in song as “kings”. You remember the song, don’t you?

“We three kings of Orient are . . .”

Now, whether or not they really were kings is not a matter that I care to debate today. They were probably more likely some sort of religious or scholarly leader from distant lands. The point for me to make is that they were recognized leaders of some sort or another. And the image that we have of them from Christmas pageants over the years is an image of them arriving and kneeling at the manger and presenting their gifts.

But integral to the story is the fact they were also “followers”. They followed a star. And that star led them to the Baby Jesus. Let’s say it again. These leaders were also followers. Had they not been willing to put their own agendas and egos aside and become followers, they would have missed the single most important event in all of human history.

Here is the leadership trait that I want to emphasize today. Great leaders must be willing to become great followers from time to time. And the paradox of leadership is that we are really both simultaneously. And when we cease to be a follower, we cease to be effective as a leader. And the result of following that star provided these three men with an experience that was transformational and one that needed to be communicated to others. So, according to Biblical records, these three leaders returned to their homes by a different route to avoid King Herod who was bent on destroying the baby who had been born to be the real One to follow.

What about you? Have you shown an ability to follow as well as lead?

And are you following someone or something worthy of being followed?

December 10, 2012

What Would Winston Do?

It was once very popular to wear jewelry with the letters WWJD that asked an important question – “What would Jesus do?” That is a valid and valuable question to ask oneself when addressing life’s challenges. But what about addressing the challenges of leadership? I would posit that Winston Churchill and his leadership style would be a good reference for the rhetorical question:

“What would Winston do?”

What would Winston do when he tried to migrate his old blog to a new domain? – – Oh wait. I guess Winston Churchill had a little bit tougher problems than my silly website issues to deal with in fighting the Axis powers.

One thing I know for sure. Winston Churchill would never give up. He would not surrender. He would not back down in the face of adversity. Rather, he would stiffen his British upper lip and he would stand firm.

The leadership principle here is steadfastness. Some would call it stubbornness. But in a more positive light you would have to call it steadfastness.

So, what about you? What do you do when the going gets tough? What do you do in the face of overwhelming adversity? Let’s make the questions a little more personal and targeted to this audience.

Businessman – Are you steadfast in your commitment to integrity in your business deals?
Young father – Are you steadfast in your resolve to place a priority on being an influence in your children’s lives while they are young and achieving a balance in your life where your family is concerned?
Husband – Are you steadfast in your love for your wife and hold her up as something more precious than rubies?
Teacher – Are you steadfast in your role as an educator and influencer of the next generation of citizens?
Grandparent – Are you steadfast in your role in supporting young families by being a receptive ear and broad shoulder on which someone can lean?

Let’s not over-analyze Churchill’s life and legacy. His own family situation was a bit of a train wreck. But, the point I wish to make is that we can draw inspiration from historical figures and we can extract positive characteristics from ultimately flawed characters. And here is perhaps the fundamental difference between the two characters. Jesus’s character was not flawed. And He can be the perfect inspiration and example for you and I.

Image of Winston Churchill in the public domain.

November 30, 2012

Is leading a quiet activity or a loud activity?

That is a strange question. Isn’t it?

Here is what I mean. Is real leadership something that you can undertake without ever raising your voice?

My son’s kindergarten teacher was Mrs. McGrath. She was a very soft-spoken woman. In fact, whenever she needed to get the children’s attention she would whisper. No matter what was going on in the classroom and no matter how rowdy the children were, she would stop what she was doing and speak in a voice that was nearly a whisper. And one by one the children would quiet down and come over to where she was standing or sitting and would get as close to her as they could. Why? Because they wanted to know what great secret she was about to share with them.

Now contrast that with the drill sergeant that assisted my dad through basic training during the Korean War. There was probably not a lot of whispering going on there. In fact that drill sergeant probably got up close and personal and spoke in such a way as there was no way my dad misunderstood what he was saying.

Two very distinctive communication styles. Both individuals were demonstrating great leadership. But it would be hard to find two more opposite styles.

So, is leadership a quiet or loud activity?

All About Being “Emotionally Agile”

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